Disillusioned

Before I started this blog, I actually thought I’d write in it often and then within six months or so I would have proved that it was possible for a former stay at home mom, and a work at home mom, to break through and find a good paying job with insurance. Guess what, I now believe I was completely wrong.

Not only will I not find a decent paying job, or one with insurance, but, it’s only going to get worse for me, and my generation who are being kicked out of their jobs, if lucky enough to still have them — being treated so badly they want to jump off a tall building. The atmosphere at most workplaces is dreadful today. It makes me wonder why I want a job.

Oh yea, I wanted the job because I’ve been home, more or less, for 27 years of my life, since I first got married. I’ve raised four daughters, and three husbands, and I want to do something for me. Yea, I want to work for a company that has certain values, preferably an educational institution because I love learning, and I love passing on a love of learning. But, things are at work to prevent this from happening.

While I breathed a sign of relief when the supreme court ruled that the PPACA was constitutional, I cried that they won’t force states to expand Medicaid a large component of the bill designed to insure people who have too low of incomes but are too young to qualify for Medicaid. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not really a fan of Obamacare… it’s better than nothing but I support HR676, Expanded and improved Medicare for all. I believe it would save the USA money, and it would encourage entrepreneurship, and take the profit motive out of health care. No one should be making too much money off people’s illnesses.

Anyway I was happy enough about that, and then I find out that they just screwed all future children and adults who are going to college using student loans by not giving them a grace period, or helping with the cost of interest during graduate school. It is becoming clear that those in power don’t want people to become educated. They want us to be starving, desperate, and unhappy.

Most of all, they want us to be afraid. They want us to be so afraid that we don’t speak out when we are being treated bad at work. I have a lot of friends and relatives who think I’m lucky that I work from home. While I do LOVE working from home, I still need insurance, and that is my driving force behind trying to find a job, aside from wanting to help other people /students learn, I guess I didn’t until recently see how lucky I really am to be able to do what I do.

But, I do want to make something clear, working for yourself is like having several bosses. You have several people demanding a lot of you, usually without regard to the fact you have several other clients. In addition, you’ll come across people who will not pay you on time, if at all. The people who demand the most want to pay the least, so it’s a balancing act just like working at a job is, having to please one boss.

The entire culture today is that I, as the employer are doing YOU a favor, there are 1000 of you I could hire if you don’t do what you’re told, think what I want you to think, and disregard any type of rights you think you have. That is the prevailing culture in the workplace today and it really sucks. Finally, I’ve wondered why businesses aren’t supporting a public option for health care like HR676, it would save all business untold sums of money, and even the government, it seems like an easy business decision… then it finally hit me:

  • They want us trapped.
  • They don’t want us to be able to quit and start our own business.
  • They want to keep us where we are, in our places, desperate.

I hate to disappoint those who wish for that, because we’re not going to fall for it any longer. Even if I do find a job with insurance, I’m not going to be mistreated.  I will have a balance of of life. I’m willing to do with less in order to have that balance. I’m lucky, my kids are grown and the last one leaves the nest in the fall. My husband and I can downsize even more than we have (he was laid off in 2005) and live very frugally and survive. It’s not the life we envisioned, but we’re not going to play in the rat race as the rat. We are humans, and humans deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.

So, no this adventure has not turned out how I thought it would. My confidence is in the tank, my husband’s confidence is in the tank. We are middle aged people without a retirement. We have plans though, and even though the powers that be don’t want us to succeed, we will, and we won’t be quiet while we’re doing it either.

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About themommygap

Mom, Wife, Business owner, trying to break into a career out of the home.
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